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notalwaysright_feedRead Zero Tolerance, No Ifs Or Cigarette Butts
Cashier: "Can I see some ID, please?"
Customer: "I'm obviously old enough!"
Cashier: "I know, ma'am, but it’s still required in this state."
Customer: "So you don't ID the white people, but all the black people get carded, is that it?"
icanhascheezburger_feedAre your teeth chattering from all the cold weather you've been having? If they are, we have some heartwarming feline funnies to warm you up in a way fuzzy socks can't!
In the most purrfect way, the cold weather can be… oppressive. When we want to go outside, we have to make like a feline and put some furry clothing all over our bodies, and even then, we are still chilled to the bone. There are some people who simply can't stand the cold… Are you one of them?
If you are, you probably know all of the different ways to remedy your chilliness. Hand warmers, mittens, and thick scarves are great for the low-temperature windchill, but they don't do wonders like a warm cup of hot cocoa or a dose of wholesome happiness does…
Even though the sun sets at 4:30 PM now, we shouldn't have a deficit of vitamin D. Sunshine exists in many forms, and taking a D supplement is a great place to start. But the happiness—that warmth—you receive from a ray of sunshine cannot be replicated… Unless you're browsing cat memes, that feel like a toasty hug. If you're looking for warmth, look no further!
notalwaysright_feedRead Manager’s Closing Arguments
Manager: "Ma'am, you repeatedly come into the shop just before we close. That is very inconsiderate."
Customer: "You're always so busy in the day, and that's inconsiderate to your customers! I may need help and attention, and if I come when everyone is here, I won't get the assistance I am entitled to!"
icanhascheezburger_feedListen, we know cats are cute and wholesome and some of the most affectionate creatures you will ever meet no matter what anybody else says! We have feline friends who love to cuddle and I would trust with my life. That being said… Yes, there are also many devious cats out there (coughORANGECATScough) that love to cause problems. Nothing serious, just problems enough for you to know who is actually in charge.
And guess what? We love them just the same! Yep, that's right, we love all cats, even the troublemakers. In fact, we might like them even more. What is life without stirring up a little trouble? Where is the excitement?! The drama! We need a little spice in our life, and that is why sometimes you need an orange cat, I mean, any cat with a personality. We understand if you aren't in the position to be a cat mom yet, especially to one that mirrors your baddie tendencies. So let us scroll and admire the ones that are already online famous. We love a good silly kitty troublemaker post. Helps us get through the day.
notalwaysright_feedRead Chicken Soup For The Soul Burns Idiots Like This
He comes across the self-help book section, and then turns and looks at me, a plus-size gal, and says:
Customer: "Imagine that... you working here with self-help books!"
Me: "Pardon me?"
Customer: "How can you work in a place that sells self-help books when you don't even help yourself?"
questionable_content_feed
she's doing the voice again
icanhascheezburger_feedNo one does drama quite like a cat. Whether it's a missed meal by two minutes or the audacity of a closed door, felines know how to make their feelings known loudly, and with flair. One tiny inconvenience can turn into a full Broadway performance, complete with dramatic sighs, offended tail flicks, and a slow, meaningful stare that says, you'll pay for this later.
They flop onto the floor like they've been wronged by the universe, meow as if they're narrating a tragedy, and act deeply betrayed when you dare to move them from their favorite sunspot. Even when they're caught red-pawed knocking something off the counter, they somehow manage to look both shocked and insulted as if gravity is the real villain here.
But that's part of their charm. Every exaggerated reaction, every over-the-top pose, every "woe is me" expression reminds us why we love them so much. Cats may be small, but their purrsonalities are larger than life.
icanhascheezburger_feedLast December, while on a late-night security patrol, one worker heard a loud, persistent meow echoing through a building and that sound changed everything. Perched on a piece of machinery was a scruffy, underfed cat who, despite his rough shape, immediately accepted some gentle pets and followed his new friend everywhere. The next night, the same thing happened, and it quickly became a routine: one man doing his rounds, one hungry cat demanding dinner and attention.
Before long, the cat recognized the sound of his rescuer's car and would come running to greet him each night. They shared meals, patrols, and eventually, a bond too strong to ignore. After confirming he didn't belong to anyone else, the rescuer brought him home, gave him a vet visit, and officially made him family.
Now named Mercedes, this once-stray has fully embraced his housecat life. He's chatty, cuddly, and just a little bossy. He's a true partner in crime and proof that sometimes, the best things in life find you when you're just doing your job.
notalwaysright_feedRead Maybe Just Roll With It If You Want To Get Out Of Here
Server: *Seeing the roll.* "Oh, did you want to add that, too?"
Husband: "No, that's the vegan sausage roll."
Server: "No, it isn't. These are vegan sausage rolls." *Points to pastry-wrapped sausage on the counter in front of her.*
Husband: "Oh, okay."
notalwaysright_feedRead These Jalapeños Must Be Extra Hot Because They’re Causing A Meltdown
I'm making a sandwich for a woman who is watching me like a hawk as I do so. I am picking up some jalapeños with the tongs.
Customer: "Not those ones!"
Me: "You said jalapeños, right?"
Customer: "Yes, but not those ones! I want better ones!"
Read These Jalapeños Must Be Extra Hot Because They’re Causing A Meltdown
icanhascheezburger_feedYou know, it is funny, us hoomans think that when we buy a piece of land it is all ours. And while that might be true with regard to other hoomans, it is certainly not applicable to the cat population that has already been existing there for a significant amount of time. For as far as the local felines are concerned, we are just another potential feeding point that has moved into the neighborhood.
The point being that when we do things to our house and expect nothing to come of it we can be rather shocked to see how the community cats respond. As one homeowner found out when she decided to install some motion detecting lights in her garden. Sure, she initially figured that they would serve as a deterrent to thieves, but what she did not bet on, was that the local cattos would run with the concept and turn it into an after hours hangout. Silly hooman…
notalwaysright_feedRead Don’t Assume They’ll Be Around For Much Longer
I'm working with a lazy coworker. I can't even remember what our argument was about, but I was mentioning how I was expecting her to get some work done by today.
Coworker: "You didn't specify when you needed it by."
Me: "Well, the project it's related to is due by the end of the week, so—"
notalwaysright_feedRead No Hun Intended
This is the South, so certain terms of endearment down here are very common.
Me: "Hello, hun! How are we doing today?"
Customer: "Do not call me hun! I am not your hun! You will address me as ma'am or not at all!"
Read No Hun Intended
icanhascheezburger_feedThe cat distribution system works in mysterious ways…like when you're just doing some simple weeding at a country club closed down for the summer, and you hear a distant squeak coming from under a porch. Just like the landscaper in the story below, you'd probably stop what you were doing to see what's going on. He was minding his own business when a beautiful white furred, blue eyed cat stared at him from under the porch. He called the country club he was working on and was informed they had closed for the season, and they won't be open for another half year at least. He calls the local shelters to see if anyone's reported a missing kitty, and even called a nearby friend in the area to see if he had any information.
After 10 minutes of putting little meats in front of the cat from his leftover pizza, she crawled out and came to him. He's now the fresh cat daddy to a little cutie.
notalwaysright_feedRead When You Refuse To Consign People To The Archives
Boss: "Okay, so here's the deal. Gary is my dad. He retired years ago from the Royal Mail. Then we had the double whammy of my mum dying, and he having memory issues. So I brought him in, set up a desk, and gave him the job. He doesn’t know it’s just something to keep him active and social. His salary comes directly out of my pocket, not the company’s books. With me so far?"
Me: "I think so?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Finally, A Good Use For Bots
Customer: "You will do this for me, or I'll call corporate and complain! I have all your names written down so I know exactly who to get into trouble!"
Manager: "Please do, ma'am. However, we don't have a corporate contact number anymore. We just have a 'contact us' link on the app that will take you to a chatbot pretending to be a human that can't really help you. No one ever reads that stuff."
icanhascheezburger_feedWait, please hold on. We were supposed to start another cat memes batch, but the cat decided to fight the curtains. Again. It's the third time this week… We don't know what in the curtains makes the cat think they're mortal enemies, that the curtains must be shredded to pieces, but apparently they just are. Oh no, this coo-coo cat is now parkouring to the counter to push off some mugs. Please, Mr. Cat, just please let the mugs live to see another day, we promise we'll give you another treat and- never mind. The cat pushed them all off. Without breaking eye contact. The audacity.
Pawrents who raise crazy cats know the situation closely. Raising a ruckus of a cat isn't easy, but if there's one certain thing we can all hold on to - is that it's also hissterically hilarious. When cats get into their coo-coo crazy cat mode, the humans around burst out laughing like it's the best stand-up comedy show they've ever seen. Sure, you might need to replace your curtains, or say goodbye to your favorite mug, but you definitely got a good laugh out of it.
And that's where weirdo cat memes come in, in all their glory - they bring this coo-coo cat energy wherever they are. And luckily for us, for you, for all of humanity - the internet is immediate. You can watch the craziness from your phone. Scroll down, you weirdo, surround yourself with the hissterical cat comedy of these crazy cats.
icanhascheezburger_feed"Foster Fail" is such a weird phrase to use. It has some negative connotation, using the word "fail" - but that's actually such a wholesome, heartwarming, and cute thing. You see, in the online feline family, a foster fail just means something like "I tried to find you a home, little one, but it seems you've already found one - right here with me". A foster fail is actually an adoption success. So, despite the negative connotation one might think of initially, we're actually very fond of reading about these supposed foster fails. They warm our hearts like the warm and fuzzy felines who get adopted.
It's not that rare to think you're meant to be a foster pawrent, a temporary solution for a cute cat before they move on and settle in their true furrever home. When the Cat Distribution System sends a delightful delivery your way, especially if your house and heart are already full of the feline family you raise at home, you can't be 100% sure if you're meant to be a foster or a permanent. And this was the exact deliberation of this caring couple with a stray kitten who was rejected by her mother.
It's hard saying "no" to a crying kitten in need, especially now when winter is getting close. Cats might get stuck outside in a storm, and they need the shelter, the warmth, and the love. So they decided to foster… until the foster adorably failed. We're happy to know this foster failed, but the adoption succeeded.
notalwaysright_feed - Zero Tolerance, No Ifs Or Cigarette Buttsicanhascheezburger_feed - A Ray of Sunshine in the Form of 21 Fuzzy Feline Funnies (November 13, 2025)notalwaysright_feed - Manager’s Closing Argumentsicanhascheezburger_feed - 'Oooh, kitty got claws!': Catty Cat Posts for Cat Parents of Pawdorable Trouble Makersicanhascheezburger_feed - Fast flew'dicanhascheezburger_feed - Joke Cat shouldn't quit his day job.notalwaysright_feed - Chicken Soup For The Soul Burns Idiots Like Thisquestionable_content_feed - Needs Better Soundproofingicanhascheezburger_feed - 20 Hissterical Memes of Cats Bringing Maximum Drama to Minimal Problemsicanhascheezburger_feed - 'It was pretty much decided he was coming home with me': Security guard hears desperate meows on patnotalwaysright_feed - Maybe Just Roll With It If You Want To Get Out Of Herenotalwaysright_feed - These Jalapeños Must Be Extra Hot Because They’re Causing A Meltdownicanhascheezburger_feed - ‘I was about to transform my backyard into the hottest feline nightclub in town.’: Homeowner’s attemnotalwaysright_feed - Don’t Assume They’ll Be Around For Much Longernotalwaysright_feed - No Hun Intendedicanhascheezburger_feed - 'Scared and skinny, I found her at a job site': Beautiful white kitty found cowering under porch atnotalwaysright_feed - When You Refuse To Consign People To The Archivesnotalwaysright_feed - Finally, A Good Use For Botsicanhascheezburger_feed - 25 Whiskered Weirdo Memes for Peculiar Pawrents With Crazy Catsicanhascheezburger_feed - Feline foster fail turns into adorable adoption after careful care and nurture: ‘After all the emoti![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timeasmymeasure
