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notalwaysright_feedRead Lid and Let Live
Woman: "Hey, give me my drink!"
Barista: "Ma'am, are you [My Name]?"
Woman: "I ordered a latte!"
Barista: "Ma'am, I think this is hers." *Points to me.*
Read Lid and Let Live
notalwaysright_feedRead Shattered Dreams
My sister and I are doing the dishes. I'm drying a heavy ceramic bowl when it slips a little in my hands. I catch it just in time.
Me: "Whoa! That was close!"
Mom: *Casual as anything.* "Oh, wouldn’t matter. That thing wouldn’t break."
Read Shattered Dreams
notalwaysright_feedRead He Took It In Stride
We get into an elevator. A man on crutches joins us, one pant leg neatly folded where his leg used to be. My son’s eyes go wide. He speaks to me in a 'stage whisper' that is somehow louder than his normal voice.
Son: "Mom… what happened to his leg?!"
Read He Took It In Stride
notalwaysright_feedRead Not Exactly Written In The Stars
Customer: "Do you believe in astrology?"
Me: "My birthday is in five days. What sign does that make me?"
Customer: "Gemini."
Me: "Correct! So that means that obviously the answer to your question is no."
notalwaysright_feed
It was the late 1990s. I was, at the time, teaching physics and computer science. Things were changing fast, and the cultural anchors I grew up with became unfamiliar to the students very quickly. Among them were the ads in the back of comic books for things like X-ray specs, ant farms, and… sea monkeys. So, I decided to bring some Cold War culture to my students. Sea monkeys were just the trick.
notalwaysright_feedRead Guess You Called It
Nurse: "How did you get my cell phone number? I didn’t give you my cell."
Me: "Well… you gave me a number and I confirmed it with you on the previous call."
Nurse: "Yes but this is my cell phone number. Not my work phone number!"
Read Guess You Called It
notalwaysright_feed(This occurred when I was on a school environmental science trip with my chemistry teacher, a math teacher, and about twenty students in my grade. We’re currently staying at a nice villa at a resort about an hour and a half’s drive from Orlando.) Me: This is a lot nicer than I expected. Student # […]
notalwaysright_feedMy sister is traditional and proscriptive regarding gender roles. I am trans. She pretends I never told her, but I suspect that she might be suspicious of me always now. We live on opposite sides of the country. This happens over email, but I don’t remember which child and gender this was for. The fluff […]
icanhascheezburger_feedLook, we get it. It is late in the week, you have been busting your behind for days now, and it barely feels like you are moving the needle. Your boss has been breathing down your neck to do work that you are too lazy to do yourself and quite frankly you would rather pack it all in and try to find a more fulfilling job come Monday. But with the state of the job market, that might not be the wisest option available to you, as much as it sounds amazing.
So we decided that we would offer you an alternative option that will hopefully satisfy you just as much. Of course we are talking about our cranky cats who would happily yell at your boss for you. The concept is simple. You bring a feisty feline into work and lay it across your desk. When you boss gets within a three-foot radius of your desk, your counter top cat springs into action releasing its most heinous hisses upon your boss, telling them to back off. And there you have it, a simple, safe and sweet solution to your boss' brain pollution.
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icanhascheezburger_feedCats have a meowgical ability to tell when their owners are distressed. Ours always know when we've had a bad day and are extra cuddly during those meowments.
When our best friend passed away, they didn't leave our side for weeks. They followed us around the house with extra determination and insisted on doing, quite literally, everything with us. It was the only time they've ever willingly gone into the bathroom with us. They're usually terrified of the shower, but during those weeks they would wait patiently outside of the shower, and would paw at the glass if they felt we were taking too long.
Now, grief is one thing, but being sensitive to an illness is a whole other story! The pawrent in this post was furious with his midnight menace cats. They would wake him up at all hours of the night, multiple times, every night. This led him to discover that he actually has sleep apnea, and they were waking him up because they sensed his breathing had stopped. They were actually saving his life!
It's crazy that some animals know how to alert for certain behaviors when some animals go through rigorous training for years in order to do so. These kitties must only really love their hooman! Maybe it's time for us to start having service cats as well? Sounds purrfect to us!
GET YOUR WEEKLY HIT OF WHISKERED PURRFECTION - SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
icanhascheezburger_feedSocial media is constantly full of two things: Cute cats and (attempts) at full moon photos/video footage. Here we have come across a woman who experience both! She is doing what all the girlies do, which is go outside at night to try and capture the full moon. Whether it's video or a photo, it never seems to turn out right when taken on your phone. Give a girl a professional camera, and she will have a full on photoshoot with the moon. But in this case, the moon was doing it's thing and making it impossible to capture her beauty. However, another beautify unexpectedly arose for this woman. A kitten was yelling in the dark for help! Usually, wondering alone outside in the dark is scary, but this cat lady was not about to leave a little feline friend unanswered!
Though the kitty cat was spicy at first, it did not spot this woman from saving this tiny moon-colored kitten. Now, the baby is a happy little snuggler living her best life furever!
notalwaysright_feedRead The Fine Art of Wasting Everyone’s Time
Debbie: "I bought all of this on Friday at [store 1,500 miles away], and their tax rate is higher. So, I want to return all of it and buy it here to pay lower taxes. Now hurry up. I’ve been driving all day, and I’m tired."
notalwaysright_feed(This happens when I’m in 5th Grade, I don’t remember which class, but we had a substitute and were mostly messing around. I had no friends and was bullied by pretty much everyone, but this event definitely made me lose faith in that school and a lot of humanity, as well as traumatising me. The […]
notalwaysright_feed - Lid and Let Livenotalwaysright_feed - Shattered Dreamsicanhascheezburger_feed - Explain, human.notalwaysright_feed - He Took It In Stridenotalwaysright_feed - Not Exactly Written In The Starsnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Monkey Business Deniednotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Guess You Called Itnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)icanhascheezburger_feed - 24 Cranky Cats Who’d Happily Yell at Your Boss For Youicanhascheezburger_feed - 'I honestly thought they just hated the fact that I slept': Pawrent's two cats constantly wake him aicanhascheezburger_feed - Woman trying to take pictures of the moon unexpectedly becomes a cat mom instead: ‘I think I’ll namenotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - The Fine Art of Wasting Everyone’s Timenotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timeasmymeasure
